A little this, a little that

Welcome friends!

I decided to make me a blog because for one, everyone use to tell me if I made a reality show they would watch it. And for two, I just love meeting and talking to new people. I love to learn about new things and most of all I LOVE to help people. I am known as a funny girl, pretty face and big booty. Honestly I think it’s the booty they are after. JS.
I’m loved by some and hated by many JK. Do you ever feel like that or is it just me? Like no matter how much I try to get along with people I still have this feeling going through me that makes me like “I don’t think this person likes me”. Maybe it’s me with my crazy mind! Haha. Yes I am bipolar maybe that’s what makes people like me and it makes me think they don’t, or I’m just paranoid about everything! Idk, who knows.
Anyhow, I want to get real for a moment and say, I use to be in abusive relationships. If you are in a abusive relationships and need someone to talk to or to find a way out please get in touch with me. I do plan on making a spot for y’all about these real issues going on in the world. You deserve so much better, let me help you get your life back.
Also weight loss is a big one for many people. A lot of people want to lose or reshape something on their body, I can talk to y’all about what I do and other ways to lose weight.
Christmas, y’all is coming up way to fast and I don’t think I am going to have enough time though. How are y’all doing with your Christmas shopping? Have you started yet?
This leads me to work from home positions. Who needs a little extra money for the holiday shopping? I help you find different work from home options to get you a few extra spending dollars.
Also there is no telling what we might end up talking about. We shall see together!

Enjoy a new online friendship with me. We are going to be the best of online friends!!

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Making that money, Shopping, a girls best friend

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Mental Illnesses

When Bipolar takes over!

Sure enough my little tiny car, weighted down with newspapers, had a hard time picking up speed. That man threw the newspaper back in the window at me!! So I… (see the rest of the story down below)

Ever since I got fired from my job, (that story is in another blog), I have not been able to keep another job. As you know, I was fired April 17, 2018. I have had 4 jobs since then!! (It is only June 9, 2018)

My first job since I was fired, was Assistant Manager at a Title Loan company. Yeah, working Monday-Saturday 8-6:15 or later is not my cup of tea. Also the two woman that worked in there with me, talked junk about everyone that walked through the door!! I do not want to be a negative Nancy, so I felt the need to quit.

My next job was working for the newspaper, delivering papers to house. This was a 12:00AM-7AM job!! My first night I show up at 11:55PM, and I am so hungry! I wait until 1:30AM, by then the guy still had not showed up so I left! Needless to say, I did not get anything to eat because everything was closed and I quit the job before I even started!

My third job, was at Wendy’s! Yes, Wendy’s. The reason I decided that was because my man’s sister is a general manager at Wendy’s and she said I could make good money. So I got hired on as a shift manager and they were training me to go to the store where I live and be an assistant manager. Well I couldn’t handle the way everyone calls out of work, the guys were always flirting, people looked at you different because you are working at a fast food place, and it was pretty stressful! I quit.

My fourth job, I delivered newspapers for a different company! This was anytime but they like you to start at 7AM, if possible. I did this for 2 Wednesdays. This was a once a week job. I can not live off that! Also I got into it was 2 different men on two different day!!

This is the story behind that! On the first day I am delivering then I throw the paper out onto the drive way and I heard a old man yell, “Hey”! So I stop and turn back to look at I see the paper landed in water (even though the paper is in a bag, I would of gotten mad to, to be honest). So I told him that I was sorry and offered him another newspaper and was getting out to get that newspaper so he didn’t have to! He says, “This happens every time! No, no, just stay in your car and go on!” Wow, really?!?!?

The next day I was working, I have my 9 year old son with me. We are throwing out papers and he says, “That man just said, “You got to be kidding me!” Did I throw it at the wrong house?” I said, “No, that was the right house.” It’s a dead end so I have to go back by the house. That man is walking into the road with his hand out for me to stop. So I’m slowing down to stop and I get to almost a complete stop and he yells with his hand still out, “Stop”! Right into my car window at me!! So you know how is bipolar people get… I hit the gas! Don’t talk to me like that!! Sure enough my little tiny car, weighted down with newspapers, had a hard time picking up speed. That man threw the newspaper back in the window at me!! So I threw the paper back at him! Yes I did!! I was so mad. Don’t come at me like that.

So now I am trying to look for a job but it’s hard because I really don’t know what kind of job to do. I can not handle some of the people in public. As you know, I am all about giving you the respect you give me! Ugh, having bipolar is hard y’all!!

Shopping, a girls best friend

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mental and physical

The past will destroy your future if you let it

Okay, so I told y’all I would talk about abuse! Here it goes…

I was with my first children’s father for 5 and a half years. The one thing that sticks out in my memory is the way he did me one day when I called my mother to come get me.

He had sold our last little bit of food stamps to some girls and left with them. I’ve never met this girls before and I didn’t even know he left with them until someone came up and told me. You know how people love to start drama in people’s lives? Yeah, that is the reason the person told me. So I was so mad that he would sell them knowing we had a baby on formula and we had another needing real food. Well we get in an argument and ends up with him saying he wants me and our kids to leave. So I call my mother.

My mother gets there and is helping me get my things into her car. Every time my mother would walk out he would beg me not to go. Every time my mother walked back in he would tell me he can’t wait for me to leave. He did this about 5 times in a row. Killing my mind, my emotions and my well being. I loved this man. He was my first and I had two babies by him so I always wanted it to work out.

I ended up leaving that day because I couldn’t be with someone that would do me like that.

Some men will abuse you mentally and some physically. Others do both and there are some men that don’t do either.

I have not seen my children’s father in a few years. He just was released from prison not to long ago.

The last few times I did see him, I asked myself what I was doing with a guy like this. I honestly feel sorry for him. He life has never been a great one. But when I was there I tried to help him. I also tried to inform him of who wasn’t the right ones to hang with. But being 23 years old he was still young and so was I.

We were to young to have kids to begin with. But I wouldn’t trade my wonderful kids for anything.

If you are getting abused, either physically or emotionally, get out. It will NEVER get better only worst. Take care of yourself because no one else will do it for you. You are more then enough!

Poems

Separation from children

As I sit here and try to figure out,

How my world got to where it is now.

I was made to be a mother.

But why am I only raising one child.

My other children are divided by homes.

I know they miss their mother,

What child doesn’t?

Court order is I cant see my children unless their father allows it.

What type of system are you fighting for?

He’s a drug addict that’s never around to be the father.

While I sit at home depressed and crying.

Christmas came and went,

Their gifts left unopened.

Don’t you realize you are hurting them too by not letting them see me.

One day I pray they will get old enough to decide to live with me.

I know I’ve made mistakes in my life,

Who hasn’t?

All I ask is to at least let me spend some time with my children.

Let them how what a mothers love is like.

You grew up without a mother,

You know first hand what it’s like.

You also know how bad you hate her

So you are thinking my kids will be the same towards me?

You never stop to think how your plan can backfire.

When they grow up seeing you are never around for them.

Hell, my kids are growing up without a mother or father.

Don’t make our kids suffer as you did growing up.

We are suppose to do everything we can,

To give our children a better life then we had.

Why are you giving them worst?

Step up and be a father.

Forget what we are fighting about,

It have nothing to do with our children.

They need a mother and father.

So please do the right thing

You are hurting our children.

Mental Illnesses

I got fired…

So this is actually my first time being fired. You know when you get that strong feeling that won’t go away. Well I’ve had that feeling since Monday. I get fired the very next day, which is Tuesday, yesterday. I’ve been working at this job as an administrative assistant for 2 years, 5 months and 2 and half hours. These people at this place had me fooled for 2 years and 1 month. Here’s the story behind that…

When I first started working at this job, I loved it!! Two months after being hired a girl in the other office moved away. So they trained me to do my job and the Data Entry job as well. I was then working from 7-5 Monday-Friday and even coming in most Saturdays and some Sundays.

We get a 30 minute lunch break, which we don’t have to clock in or out they do it for us. Which, I’ve always thought was pretty weird because I see most employees taking an hour to two hour lunches because they don’t have to clock in or out. The Plant Manager knows that these employees are doing this but nothing is ever done about it. Just like how he does payroll because he gives people 40 hours who only had 16 hour work weeks. Anyway…

After doing this other job for 2 years, I also get thrown the task of doing 2 other peoples jobs too. I am now juggling 4 people jobs. For 4 months I have been doing Four Peoples Jobs. I was so exhausted, but the Plant Manager, thinks that I still am not working enough. I work non-stop. How do I have time not to work? And that time comes, I can’t do it any longer. For many reasons; I was making to much and Medicaid got cut out. I have to get my sons medication monthly. Two prescription and he has to go to the doctor. I can’t afford the health insurance they got at work. I was having trouble with my child and the babysitter. I was tired. I didn’t see it as fair, that the Plant Managers girlfriend, which he is her boss too, and her friend, both sit in their office and play on Facebook and the web. Shoot, even the Plant Manager, has went all the way down the hall to my ex-office and had me walk all the way to his office to show me someone on our county jail website who had the same first name as me. He said, “Don’t she favor you?” I was like, Really? He really just called me into his office to look at this when we are suppose to be working? Oh, but of course, he is the Plant Manager, so he gets 4 hour lunches and gets to go home and garden and not have to do anything at all and still gets paid. Where can I find a job like that?

So I informed my boss, things are getting to be to much. My boss was already complaining to me about never having time for his office, for which he hired me for. So my boss told me to tell the Plant Manager. So I told him and he said they will figure something out. From that day one things had changed…

There was no more smiling, friendly faces. There was once, the Plant Manager, had his girlfriends friend, tell me that he said I did some wrong and will need to stay at work until it was completed. Come to find out it was not me who did it. And I told the girl, I am leaving in 5 minutes, I can’t do that task in 5 minutes time. Another time, the Plant Managers girlfriend, told me to run a packing slip, so order could go out. I did. The next morning her, her friend and their shipping boy friend, all wanted to verbally jump all over me as so as they call me in the office, everyone is talking at once. I looked at the girlfriend of the Plant Manager and I told her that she was the one that told me to put the packing slip. She looked down and said she didn’t know. So you mean to tell me, the whole time I had been working here and everyone tells me to listen to her, she has been here the longest. And she doesn’t even know what she has told me to do or is doing herself? So the wholetwo years I first started working there I never made a mistake. But then when I quit doing everyone else jobs I’m now “making mistakes’. These people!

And here we were three weeks before, auditor is coming to audit. That’s one of my jobs also, is to audit. Well funny I’ve missed like a half hour to hour and half of time, I’m getting 40 hour checks. That was the first thing that caught my eye. Then the three that hates me are being super nice. That’s the second clue. I knew something was going to happen. I figured the Plant Manager was trying to butter me up cause he didn’t want me telling the auditor things that go on there. So auditor comes and goes. Still don’t know if they passed or not.

Monday is here, after audits. The Plant Manager comes into the office I use to be in, he never comes in there after we got into it. Oh yeah, didn’t tell y’all that part. He said he would have to find a replacement if I couldn’t work until 5 everyday. 10 hours a day. No thanks. Well that was in January 2018. Here it is April and he finally fired me. So first time he’s came in there and asked what “we” were working on. Well I me and him never work on anything. My boss and I are about to work on this list that you made this way. He didn’t want to have high scrap so he through it in the department I work in. Here I come Years later, he likes me as long as I am doing everyone’s work. But once I stop doing his girlfriends work he don’t need me. Anyway, I tell him my boss and I are about to start on that list. He said okay, I’ll get with him. Nothing said the rest of the day. So he tried to start Monday but seen he had to think of another reason to start. How bout the subject that make us argue the first time….

So Tuesday comes, he walks in the office. Walks out to see where my boss is apparently, because he never starts when my boss is around. So he comes back. I am getting ready to go to the printer up front because I just printed out an email. He comes in and says, “What are we working on?” I said, “I’ve already done two boxes of tools already this morning.” I actually did three but I knew he was starting so I was trying to stay calm and get to the print before he got the chance to start. He said, “Oh, okay.” Starts shutting the office door. He said, “I wanna talk to you for a minute.” I knew it was coming then. He asked about me working until 5. I told him I never tried finding a babysitter because I was told I didn’t have to work in the other office no more, I get to leave at 3:30 and I won’t have to work with him. I was told all this from my boss man. So the Plant Manager asked me when I was told that. I said, “January 2018 when we got in the last argument about this.” He said well I am the plant manager and I am telling you I need you to work in the other office and ramble, ramble, ramble, oh and this is no longer a $14 an hour job. The rambles is him rambling trying to think of ways to hurt me. Then he’s gonna say he is taking my pay? So I asked him about everyone else getting paid lunches!! He said that we weren’t talking about them. I said well I am. How bout all them people who work only 16 hours and get pays for 40 hours a week. So he tells me to leave his building.

And that’s how that when. Basically. So I am currently looking for a job.

Poems

This world we live in

It’s a disgrace that we live in a world

That can’t be happy for one another.

When you see your neighbors doing great,

Instead of seeing how much you can diss them

Why don’t you see what they can teach you

Let you in on how they can help you.

But no, we have this bitterness inside of us.

It tells us we can’t let them do better then us.

But the more we dewell on it the more it eats us up.

We are so unhappy we eat sleep and dream of them.

How did they get so lucky,

What makes them special.

But listen sweetheart,

We all have it inside of us to do greater thing.

The same people doing great,

Use to be us until they found their way.

They stopped putting down the ones doing great,

And instead they started learning their ways.

And the cycle begins with a new generation, while the old find their way.